Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it: Was Winston's reply. Oscar Wilde. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading: Henny Youngman. beer: Plato. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy: Benjamin Franklin. drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on: Dean Martin. Drunk Driving Jokes. Prohibition Jokes & Quotes. A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve food!" The hamburger says "That's OK I just want a drink." A screwdriver goes into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The screwdriver asks, "You have a drink named Philip??". The Best Drunk Jokes #1 - The Best Jokes EverThe #bestdrunkJokes ever. Have a laugh!We provide you jokes, riddles, funny quotes & sayings to make your day.
The 54+ Best Get Drunk Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑ Get Drunk Jokes This joke may contain profanity. 🤔 I am over 18 3 men get drunk at a bar... The first guy goes: "You know what? My arm is really small, like, really really small. I reckon it's legitimately the smallest arm in the world".
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Funniest Drunk Jokes What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk. How do you get 100 drunk and rowdy Canadians out of a pool? You say "Please get out of the pool." A lion would never drive while drunk. But a tiger wood. Score: 17795.
An astronomer is drinking Bud Light with another astronomer and asks "How many of these do you think it'll take for me to get drunk?" The other astronomer replies: "Approximately 6.5 light beers" upvote downvote report My friends and I went drinking last weekend This wasn't casual drinking, we got absolutely wasted.
"You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. You're right, you know." Wino The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
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